A MONKEY PROJECT MANAGEMENT
Or
A Project Management Primer
or
“a guide to making projects work (v2.0)”
by Nick Jenkins
Many projects fail because of the simplest of causes. You don’t have to be a genius to deliver a project on time, nor do you have to be steeped in a mystical project management methodology to be a project manager. If an averagely competent person can’t deliver a project successfully after reading this primer then I will run buck naked through Times Square on my 75th birthday.
See if I don’t!
That reminds me of a joke…
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted
a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be £5,000."
a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be £5,000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "Hey, that one's even more expensive! £10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read £50,000.
The tourist gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's A PROJECT MANAGER."
that's all.
HAO
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